Opportunities should never be wasted.

The other day, standing at the gas pump, I pulled on the flap of my receipt and it just kept coming. Apparently, the little Zip-Zip paper cutter was malfunctioning. As I pulled, it just kept getting longer (giggity). Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to do what I wanted to do, which was pay out about 50-75 ft of slippery paper and then walk one end in to the cashier and ask, innocently, “Do you have any scissors?” Instead, I pulled out about three feet, tore it off, and got in the car and showed it to my stepdaughter. “Man, that was a lot of gas!”

My point is, one should never let the opportunity to do something funny pass him by. Case in point:
I have the same phonetic name as a doctor at JHU. Because I still have a JHU email, sometimes I get emails FOR the good doctor. Below you will find three of them. The first is a little harsh, but the next two are on the lighter side. Enjoy!

From: Susan CXXXXX
To: Robert Thompson
Subject: Aintree University Hospitals Education Sessions September 19-21, 2011
Date: Wed, 03 Aug 2011 17:01:31 +0000

Dear Dr. Thomsen,
Stephanie Pxxxxx in the Center for Innovation has invited Aintree University to participate in an education session focusing on Improving the Medication Delivery System and Improving Perioperative Care.
We would like to invite you to participate in presenting to the group of 15 on Day 2, as follows:
Tuesday, September 20 Domain Specific Learning Theatres:
10:00 AM Handling Disruptive Behaviors in the Operation Room
11:00 AM Robert Thomsen, MD, Assistant Professor, Johns Hopkins Medicine, Anesthesiology
and Critical Care Medicine

Disruptive behaviors such as yelling and abusive language are frequent in the operating room and can be linked to adverse outcomes and medical errors. Discover ways in which disruptive behavior may be effectively addressed
Please let me know if you are able to participate in this education session.
Thank you,
Susan Cxxxxx
Executive Assistant
Richard Dxxxx, PhD
Vice President, JHM Innovation and Patient Safety

From: R. Aaron Thompson
Sent: Wednesday, August 03, 2011 2:59 PM
To: Susan Cxxxxxx
Subject: Re: Aintree University Hospitals Education Sessions September 19-21, 2 011

No. I refuse. But, don't take it personally. It's just that I don't have a medical degree, nor do I know anything about abuse in the operating room seeing as how I've never been in one, not even as a patient. Although, I can sympathize with someone wanting to yell and be abusive, as this is about the 5th email I've gotten for DR Robert THOMSEN
Now, please look at the spelling of my name: Robert THOMPSON.
Please make a note of it and contact the good doctor instead of me.

From: Susan Cxxxxxx
To: R. Aaron Thompson

Well – at least you made me laugh. I’m sorry, I truly thought I selected Thomsen. Have a good rest of the day!
Susan

(So, at least she was a good sport. The next guy never wrote me back.)


From: Neal Cxxxxx
To: Dr. Thomsen

Hi Dr. Thompson,
Neal Chaisson here from pulm/critical care. I'm slated to start a month rotation in anesthesia this Wed with the goal of learning the ins and outs of airway management techniques during my time with you. I was speaking with some of the anesthesia residents in the WICU last week who said that you are frequently the GOR coordinator and that you would likely be able to help me get the most out of my experience. I am around today and happy to discuss any thoughts you might have. Tomorrow I'll be in the WICU and would also be happy to talk. Please let me know if there is a time that we could chat.
Thanks Neal


From: R. Aaron Thompson
To: Neal Cxxxxx

Neal,

Can I call you Neal? You’re from Pulm? I had an aunt from there! I hardly ever see her anymore since she won the lottery (you know how people from Pulm are when they think they’re better than you). I’m glad to hear that you’re going to wed Anastasia, I always liked that girl although a month rotating with her would make me dizzy. I’m sure airway management will be the least of your troubles. (Wink-wink) That girl is quiet as a mouse and you KNOW what they say about the quiet ones. WICU has always been one of my favorite radio stations, although I find that there is too much Gore for anyone to coordinate. But, if you want to get the most out of the experience, listen to their morning show, it’s not nearly as Gory.

Since you’d like to discuss my thoughts, right now I’m thinking about how often I get email for some doctor from JHU. Good luck in the WICU, tomorrow!

Have a good one!

Robert A. THOMPSON (please make a note of it)


From: Misop Hxxxx
To: Doctor R. Thompson

Rob and Lynette,
I have three robotic prostatectomies scheduled for Wednesday, April 11th. I also have a
general surgery lecture for the medical students at 3PM. If possible, I would like to
start my case at 7AM instead of 7:30AM that day so that I can finish the cases on time to
give a lecture. Please let me know what I can do to help. Thank you.

Misop

From: R. Aaron Thompson
To: Misop Hxxx

Dear Misop,

Although I commiserate with your busy schedule, there is absolutely nothing I can to do help you. Chiefly, it's because I don't even know what a prostatectomie is (although I can guess and it sounds painful). I do think the fact that you are using robots is REALLY cool. (If you could work pirates and ninjas into that, I would buy a ticket!)

As you may have guessed, I'm not a doctor and I don't even know anyone who could adjust your case start time. My presumption is that you are trying to reach DOCTOR Robert Thomsen. Me, I'm just a humble writing graduate. On the bright side, if you need someone to write about your schedule, I'm your man.

Have a great weekend and good luck with your busy Wednesday!

(non-doctor) R. Aaron Thompson (note the spelling)


He wrote back:

Thanks! :)

Misop

So, part of me wants to let JHU know that I’m consistently getting what MIGHT be confidential patient info. Part of me can’t wait for the next person to get it wrong.

Ta-Ta!

Aaron