This is from the, "I'm gonna get 'em" category.
We have been getting letters about our dogs barking from the HOA, who confirmed, when I called, that it's our next-door neighbors who are complaining. Yeah, our dogs bark, they're six months old. Yeah, we're doing everything we can. Well, now we're being threatened with $150 fine and another $100 for every week we do not "fix the problem." The letter says that the dogs are barking "constantly."
Ok, you wanted a fight, you got one. There's a hearing on the 3rd.
I made up questionnaires that asks questions like "have you ever heard our dogs barking?" then goes on to nail down the time of day, the frequency, how long, etc. I even put a comments section in it just in case I didn't cover everything.
I took this to the neighbors. So far, the two people who live two doors down, on the other side of the neighbors who are complaining, said that they have NEVER heard our dogs barking. They are two sisters, one who runs a daycare while her husband is overseas with the Army and the other who works third shift. I'm fairly certain that if our dogs were barking "constantly" they would have had something so say about it.
But, I learned something else while I was there. It appears that the same neighbors who are complaining that our dogs are barking were also responsible for getting letters sent to these people for parking too close to the lines.
Hmmm.
Today, I went across the lot to the guy whose house sits directly in front of my own. He is always outside smoking. When asked, he, too, said that he has NEVER heard our dogs barking. When I first started questioning him, he became visibly agitated. The man is Filipino and has a very thick accent. At first, I thought it was because he didn't want to get involved. It turns out it wasn't me. He cut me off and asked who it was who was complaining. When I told him, he said, "Excuse my language, but I don't like that mutherfucker, either."
Some time ago, this guy had lots and lots of exotic flowers planted around his property. Then he got a letter. It appeared that he had flowers beyond his property line. The ONLY other thing on that side is the parking lot. No other house, nobody else's yard, just the parking lot. He had to pull out all of his plants.
I see a pattern.
Lastly, I called up the neighbor who lives on the other side, as she is out of town. She said that she hears the dogs "sporadically," throughout the day on the weekends. She's only home after 8PM most weeknights, and she said she will sometime hear them, then.
Ok, this was not unexpected. I never said the dogs didn't bark. But, they don't bark "constantly." I know what constant barking sounds like and our dogs don't do it. Furthermore, you could be the biggest dog-lover in the world, and a constantly-barking dog will drive you up a tree. Well, this isn't what is happening, as proven by the neighbors I've interviewed.
The other weapon in my arsenal is Stefan, who recently testified FOR the HOA against a guy who was claiming racism on the pool staff. Well, if Stefan is trustworthy enough to vouch for you, he must be trustworthy enough to vouch for me, right?
Lastly, I HOPE they bring up the smell. We got a letter saying that there was an odor coming from our property that was clearly dog waste. It turns out it was a contaminated sump pump, as testified by the plumber that our landlord called in to investigate. So much for jumping to conclusions, huh?
I also plan to tell them that I got the dogs on recommendation from my therapist, and that the letters have only caused me to increase my anxiety medication. I'll list everything we've done to reduce barking, including bark collars that didn't work, muzzles that are considered cruel, and paying the neighborhood kids to run the hell out of them so that they sack out and shut up.
Lastly, I'll tell them that, since they are still puppies, that the situation will only get better.
When I get done putting my spin on this, they'll wish they'd left us alone.
If they don't, then I'll bring all this other shit up when I take it to court. I'll line up neighbors who will vouch for the fact that these two are just a big pain in the ass.
We have been getting letters about our dogs barking from the HOA, who confirmed, when I called, that it's our next-door neighbors who are complaining. Yeah, our dogs bark, they're six months old. Yeah, we're doing everything we can. Well, now we're being threatened with $150 fine and another $100 for every week we do not "fix the problem." The letter says that the dogs are barking "constantly."
Ok, you wanted a fight, you got one. There's a hearing on the 3rd.
I made up questionnaires that asks questions like "have you ever heard our dogs barking?" then goes on to nail down the time of day, the frequency, how long, etc. I even put a comments section in it just in case I didn't cover everything.
I took this to the neighbors. So far, the two people who live two doors down, on the other side of the neighbors who are complaining, said that they have NEVER heard our dogs barking. They are two sisters, one who runs a daycare while her husband is overseas with the Army and the other who works third shift. I'm fairly certain that if our dogs were barking "constantly" they would have had something so say about it.
But, I learned something else while I was there. It appears that the same neighbors who are complaining that our dogs are barking were also responsible for getting letters sent to these people for parking too close to the lines.
Hmmm.
Today, I went across the lot to the guy whose house sits directly in front of my own. He is always outside smoking. When asked, he, too, said that he has NEVER heard our dogs barking. When I first started questioning him, he became visibly agitated. The man is Filipino and has a very thick accent. At first, I thought it was because he didn't want to get involved. It turns out it wasn't me. He cut me off and asked who it was who was complaining. When I told him, he said, "Excuse my language, but I don't like that mutherfucker, either."
Some time ago, this guy had lots and lots of exotic flowers planted around his property. Then he got a letter. It appeared that he had flowers beyond his property line. The ONLY other thing on that side is the parking lot. No other house, nobody else's yard, just the parking lot. He had to pull out all of his plants.
I see a pattern.
Lastly, I called up the neighbor who lives on the other side, as she is out of town. She said that she hears the dogs "sporadically," throughout the day on the weekends. She's only home after 8PM most weeknights, and she said she will sometime hear them, then.
Ok, this was not unexpected. I never said the dogs didn't bark. But, they don't bark "constantly." I know what constant barking sounds like and our dogs don't do it. Furthermore, you could be the biggest dog-lover in the world, and a constantly-barking dog will drive you up a tree. Well, this isn't what is happening, as proven by the neighbors I've interviewed.
The other weapon in my arsenal is Stefan, who recently testified FOR the HOA against a guy who was claiming racism on the pool staff. Well, if Stefan is trustworthy enough to vouch for you, he must be trustworthy enough to vouch for me, right?
Lastly, I HOPE they bring up the smell. We got a letter saying that there was an odor coming from our property that was clearly dog waste. It turns out it was a contaminated sump pump, as testified by the plumber that our landlord called in to investigate. So much for jumping to conclusions, huh?
I also plan to tell them that I got the dogs on recommendation from my therapist, and that the letters have only caused me to increase my anxiety medication. I'll list everything we've done to reduce barking, including bark collars that didn't work, muzzles that are considered cruel, and paying the neighborhood kids to run the hell out of them so that they sack out and shut up.
Lastly, I'll tell them that, since they are still puppies, that the situation will only get better.
When I get done putting my spin on this, they'll wish they'd left us alone.
If they don't, then I'll bring all this other shit up when I take it to court. I'll line up neighbors who will vouch for the fact that these two are just a big pain in the ass.
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