Fight the Pandemic with chicken soup!

The following is the history, ingredients, and recipe for Aaron's Miracle Chicken Soup, as well as WHY it works.

After I worked at the Olive Garden, I started to experiment more with food. I was amazed at how often the cooks would change or simply ignore the recipe cards. Here was a national chain that was supposed to be consistent from one end of the country to the other and we were doing our own thing. I was only a prep cook, but that’s all there was. No chefs. These were guys off the street who were doing what they were told. The line cooks, who were the closest thing to career men, weren’t involved in the preparation, so they had no control over soups, sauces, and ingredients.
But, that’s the weird part, it WAS consistent. Oh, there might have been a little more kale in the zoupa, but it was never anything that a customer would notice. That’s also when I realized that, for the most part, we don’t care about little inconsistencies when it comes to food. We don’t count the crackers that come in a box of Ritz, we don’t examine the percentage of broken chips in the bag, we don’t notice if the sauce is a bit chunkier this time. As a matter of fact, we enjoy it when a dish we enjoy consistently is a bit inconsistent. "Oh, mom, the biscuits are really soft, this time. Cool!" "I have to warn you, I ran out of chocolate chips, so a few of these are a little light." "I made your sandwich with potato instead of wheat, today, hon."
Food, by it’s very nature, is inconsistent. How many times have you heard someone make fun of McDonald’s McNuggets because we don’t know what part of the chicken the "nugget" is? Here is a food that is the same every time you bite into it, so we’ve added a certain mystery to it. Also, I’m sure I’m not the only one who orders at least two different sauces when I get ‘em, am I? We like variety, even in our best-loved foods.
Back when I lived on Locust Street in York, PA, I really started cooking. It was in college, doing theatre practically every night. I usually had several people living with me at any given time. So, when I cooked, I made a lot. Well, it didn’t take me long to realize that sauces and soups were great for feeding a lot of people. Soup bases were cheap at Sam’s Club and they kept forever.
College kids get sick a lot. They’re exposed to a lot of different people on a regular basis who consistently go back home to pick up new germs and bring them back to campus. It wasn’t long before I discovered the equation of the Miracle Soup:
College kids + Sickness + Miracle Soup = College kids - sickness
I’ll be honest with you, I talked it up. I truly believe in mind over matter. I’d tell some poor kid with a red nose and hallowed eyes, "Here ya go! See you at rehearsal, tomorrow!" The strange thing was, it worked! I was simply hoping for the best, but it really worked! I wrote it off, then, because college kids don’t eat very well, especially when they’re sick. Girls are watching their figures, guys are eating crap. So, I just figured the soup, if it had any curative properties at all, was simply giving their bodies a severe calorie overload that they needed to fight off the bug. One girl had been sick for two weeks, and it looked as if she was going to miss an upcoming show. I delivered her soup that night, she was standing in the theater the next morning, singing my praises. Again, I have no problem taking credit, but I wrote it off as another girl who wasn’t eating right.
This is before I cured my self LAST NIGHT.
Ok, a little background. Kristin was sick, and she complained that though she’d known me for over ten years, she’d never received the Miracle Soup, even during the times when we lived in the same house. Ok. Fair is fair. I whipped up a batch and took it over. She had it that night and brought some for lunch the next day. She was a bit achy, but she felt better. I’m pretty sure I know why she was achy, but I’ll get to that in a bit.
More background: When I get sick, I drown when I try to sleep. I missed about two weeks of work, last year, because I was sleeping in a chair and waking up every twenty minutes or so to hack stuff out of my lungs. If I lay down, it’s like being water-boarded. During the day, I’m Ok, so people start to wonder if I’m really sick. But, I have a rule: I don’t drive to Baltimore on little or no sleep. I’ve almost died on the way back several times on a normal day, I’m not rolling those dice when I’ve only had intermittent naps.
So, last night, I went to bed. Around midnight I woke up and checked my phone because I remembered I had turned it off. Went back to sleep. (Keep in mind I was fine, then) At about 1AM, I woke up because someone had shoved a golf ball of phlegm down my throat. It was back! I tried denial, but I knew it for what it was. Just like that, I embarked on another two weeks filled with nights of Hell. I could feel it in my bronchial tubes, with a throat that won’t quite clear and a nose that won’t allow air passage. Dammt! I recognized it because I had been here, before.
I lay there, trying to growl the crap out of me. I remembered that keeping crackers by the bed always helped. But WAIT! I’ve got Miracle Soup! It’s filled with salt, so let’s pour some on this gullet slug. I heated up about half a bowl, ate it, then did it again.
I went back to bed and slept like a baby until morning. Booya!
Now, I’m going to tell you what’s in it and why it works. In this era of Pandemic, I think we need to do all we can.
First Chicken soup itself: A study conducted by Dr. Stephen Rennard of the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha found that soup inhibited the movement of neutrophils, the most common type of white blood cell that defends against infection. Dr. Rennard theorizes that by inhibiting the migration of these infection-fighting cells in the body, chicken soup essentially helps reduce upper respiratory cold symptoms.
Another study by Mount Sinai researchers in Miami looked at how chicken soup affected air flow and mucus in the noses of 15 volunteers who drank cold water, hot water or chicken soup. In general, the hot fluids helped increase the movement of nasal mucus, but chicken soup did a better job than the hot water. Chicken soup also improves the function of protective cilia, the tiny hairlike projections in the nose that prevent contagions from entering the body
None of the research is conclusive, and it’s not known whether the changes measured in the laboratory really have a meaningful effect on people with cold symptoms. However, at the very least, chicken soup with vegetables contains lots of healthy nutrients, increases hydration and tastes good, too. (Source: well.blogs.nytimes.com)
Chicken: amino acids help clear congestion. Chicken is rated as a very good source of protein, providing 67.6% of the daily value for protein in 4 ounces. The structure of humans and animals is built on protein. We derive our amino acids from animal and plant sources of protein, then rearrange the nitrogen to make the pattern of amino acids we require. It’s also a good source of Niacin and B6,
Bacon: yeah, I put bacon in my soup. Two grams of protein, a 150 milligrams of sodium, and thirty milligrams of potassium in every slice. But, let’s not forge t the fat.
I also put a bit of seasalt in: Sodium is important in the distribution of water in the body. It helps in maintenance of fluid volume in the vessels and tissues. This is the one that dried my shit out. With all of that salt in my system, it was like the world’s best antihistamine. This is from watercure2.org: "The best natural antihistamine is salt, according to Dr. Batmanghelidj If we take too much water and don't take enough salt for our water intake, the body will release histamine. You can tell when you get a runny nose or possibly by having some congestion in your throat and lungs. If you are constantly clearing your throat, you need to take some salt." Who knew? This is the reason why Kristin was achy, because salt does that to you.
Broccoli:Broccoli's noteworthy nutrients include Vitamin C, A (mostly as beta carotene), folic acid, calcium, and fiber. Vitamin A is important for the immune system, and it keeps skin and mucous membrane cells healthy.
Oregano: has anti bacterial properties and ounce for ounce more antioxidants than any other food in the world.
Parsley: Long before it was thought of as food, this herb was considered medicine. It’s used to cure everything from baldness to insect bites to bad breath. (It doesn’t work on baldness) The list of it’s benefits goes on and on. It’s high in Iron, Vitamin C, is anti-bacterial, and is an extraordinary immunity-boosting food. Here’s a list: http://www.naturalhealthtechniques.com/diet_nutrition/ParsleyBenefits.htm
Garlic: I thought garlic would be a better benefit than all of the rest, but I was wrong. There are two medical ingredients which produce health benefits in garlic: allicin and diallyl sulphides. Allicin does not occur in "ordinary" garlic, it is produced when garlic is finely chopped or crushed. The finer the chopping and the more intensive the crushing, the more allicin is generated and the stronger the medicinal effect, which is anti-fungal. ( I use powdered garlic) Basically, since we’re not talking about curing athlete’s foot, it’s another anitoxidant, but cooking actually makes it’s medicinal qualities weaker. Diallyl sulphides survive cooking, boosts the immune system, and lowers "bad" cholesterol. It only survives in the body for a few hours, though.
Black pepper: stimulates the taste buds in such a way that an alert is sent to the stomach to increase hydrochloric acid secretion, thereby improving digestion. It has antibacterial and antioxidant effects, and the outer layer of the peppercorn stimulates the breakdown of fat cells.
Ok, here’s my recipe for the Miracle Soup. Feel free to change any part of this. I’m not an alchemist. All of the quantities vary between "a little" and "a shitload." I overdo it on the herbs.
Fry bacon in deep-dish frying pan while simultaneously boiling about 4-5 cups of water in a pot.
In the pot, put chicken base, broccoli, sea salt (pinch), oregano, and parsley. While all of this is cooking, you could be cubing up some chicken breasts (or thighs, they’re cheaper).
Once the bacon is done (crispy but not burnt), remove it to cool, but do not drain the pan. Put your cubed chicken breast in there and add garlic and black pepper.
When your pot boils, add in a bit of pasta; I use egg noodles since they soften quickly. Yeah, I know your broccoli is getting overcooked, but I like it that way. Plus, broccoli stems hurt on a sore throat unless they’re really soft. Remember, this is for sick people. Crumble up the bacon and put that in the pot, too.
Once your noodles are somewhat soft, add a couple cans of Campbell’s Cream of Chicken Soup. Don’t go generic. Don’t get that "low sodium," or "low fat" shit, either. That’s for healthy people and this is not for them. Mix it up, well. You’re probably wondering why I had you start off with a chicken base and then back it up with canned chicken soup. Stop wondering.
Add in the chicken. The finishing touch is a good handful (or two) of shredded cheddar cheese. Cream cheese will do, and I make it that way more often than not, since I always have some handy. That takes some cooking until that white lump breaks down.
When you’re done, this should be one hot mess of goodness. At this point, it’s OK to play around with flavoring. It’s supposed to be salty, but not so bad that it’s inedible. The consistency should be thick but not chowder-like. You may add water if it’s too gooey, If it’s too clear (see-through) add another can of cream of chicken. What you cannot do is add more pasta, since it’ll never soften in a cream base.
I hope this keeps you all well and I’m perfectly willing to accept any additions to this recipe.
Bon Appetite!